It's Jeff's birthday!

Jeff has decided to kick himself in the nuts*

* Jeff does not have nuts. This is a metaphor. Jeff doesn't know what a metaphor is. Jeff also doesn't really know what Brexit is, much like the most of Hull, Cleethorpes, Dudley and Scunthorpe.

Jeff is playing 'Where's Boris?'

Jeff is fed up. Jeff has been playing  Where's Boris? This is just like Where's  Wally? but you have to look in ditches not for stripy hats. Jeff hasn't found Boris. Jeff thinks this game is rubbish.

Jeff has been doing some Maths

Jeff likes Maths. Jeff has been doing some sums. Jeff is confused. How does this work says Jeff? Jeff thinks W.T.F.

Jeff for PM

Jeff has heard that someone called 'Bojo' wants to be PM. Jeff thinks Bojo is a total arse. Jeff thinks he could do a better job as PM. Jeff has some strong and stable policies, unlike Bojo. Jeff  says all squirrels will be deported. The squirrels are coming over here and stealing our British nuts. Jeff has no nuts. Jeff wants his nuts back! Vote Jeff for PM.

Get Well Soon Kyp

Jeff's friend Kyp has hurt his paw. Poor old Kyp. Jeff is sad. Get well soon Kyp!

Jeff Digs Holes

Jeff has been digging in the garden. Jeff likes digging holes. Jeff is digging for squirrels. Jeff has not found any squirrels. Jeff is sad.