Jeff has been doing some Maths

Jeff likes Maths. Jeff has been doing some sums. Jeff is confused. How does this work says Jeff? Jeff thinks W.T.F.

Jeff for PM

Jeff has heard that someone called 'Bojo' wants to be PM. Jeff thinks Bojo is a total arse. Jeff thinks he could do a better job as PM. Jeff has some strong and stable policies, unlike Bojo. Jeff  says all squirrels will be deported. The squirrels are coming over here and stealing our British nuts. Jeff has no nuts. Jeff wants his nuts back! Vote Jeff for PM.

Get Well Soon Kyp

Jeff's friend Kyp has hurt his paw. Poor old Kyp. Jeff is sad. Get well soon Kyp!

Jeff Digs Holes

Jeff has been digging in the garden. Jeff likes digging holes. Jeff is digging for squirrels. Jeff has not found any squirrels. Jeff is sad.

Jeff likes Star Wars*

Jeff is a big Star Wars fan. Jeff is a scruffy nerf herder. Jeff speaks fluent Wookie. Jeff likes crispy ewok for tea. Jeff likes to dress up as Princess Leia. Jeff looks like Jar Jar Binks with hair. May the Fourth be with you Jeff.
* only the original films, not that new rubbish.

On May 2nd...

Where have the Squirrels gone Jeff?

Jeff  loves the smell of squirrel in the morning. Jeff likes to chase squirrels. The squirrels always disappear. Jeff thinks they are hiding underground in tunnels, just like the VC. Jeff does not look up.